HALFWAY THERE!

March 6, 2012

We had our 20 week OB appointment yesterday and the big fetal anatomy ultrasound. I had to work the two night leading up to the appointment and I was exhausted, but when I arrived home on Tuesday morning I was too excited to sleep! I eventually crashed for about 3 hours and then popped right up to get ready for my appointment. I picked Brett up from school on the way to

Dr. Onstad's office. We were getting phone calls and text from friends and family as we sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an hour! I'm normally a pretty patient person, especially after having worked in a doctors' office, but my feet were tapping and my heart was racing. FINALLY they called us back to the ultrasound room. I had called ahead to ask if it was okay to bring a camera and they said I would not be allowed to film the ultrasound due to liability concerns. We brought it anyway in hopes that the U/S tech would allow us to film for a short time when she determined the gender. Andy, the U/S tech was GREAT, and she told us we could film whatever we wanted! ;)

I couldn't believe how much baby had grown since our last U/S at 12 weeks. When we listed to baby's heartbeat I started to cry (shocker, right?) and Andy said, "Stop. You're going to make me cry. There is a rule against making the U/S tech cry!" It was fun to see the little heart and toes and legs and belly. We were in heaven. This was Brett's first time actually seeing baby, aside from U/S pics I had brought home.

Then it was time for what we had been waiting for... baby was being a bit shy. Legs crossed at the ankles and Andy said, "This baby has chubby thighs!" Could it be the ice cream, cheetos, and steak fries I have been eating by the pound? We looked and looked and Andy said, "Well, I have triple checked and I feel pretty comfortable saying it's a..."

I don't know if it was mother's intuition or just a good guess, but I have been calling baby a girl all along! Something inside of me just knew. I had already chosen colors for the nursery, bought a few outfits, etc. Brett was hoping for a boy to be his buddy, but is very excited to have a little girl. I have seen him with our nieces and I have no doubts this little girl is going to have him wrapped around her little finger in NO TIME!

After the U/S we had our appointment with Dr. Onstad. As we sat in the waiting room I must have had a goofy smile on my face because Brett began to chuckle and look at me with the look that means, "This is the mother of my children." Dr. Onstad said baby looks great! Proportions are perfect - heart, brain, etc. are formed well. Phew!

We had so much fun calling family with the news! She will be the first granddaughter on the Aegerter side so when we called my mom she FLIPPED! She is so excited! Brett's sister, Rams, just found out she is having a little girl just a couple weeks after us so she was happy as well. Everyone was so cute when they heard! :)

20 Weeks! Baby is the size of a grapefruit!

Right after the U/S we went out and bought a fun little summer outfit for our little GIRL!

3D picture of baby girl's profile. Can't wait to see that sweet little face!

I AM THE LUCKIEST!

I am not normally one for cheesy comments, but a couple of weeks ago I was day dreaming about baby and told Brett "I am the luckiest girl in the whole world to get to be a mommy!" and without hesitating he said, "Our babies are the luckiest in the world to have you as their mommy."

16 Weeks!

February 2, 2012

It just so happened that Brett was home from school early and was able to join me for my 16 week OB appt. Daddy got to hear baby's heartbeat! I can't stop smiling! It was so fun to watch his face light up when he heard it. I think it felt a little more real to him. :)

AFP blood test was negative (normal) and things are looking great!

Next appt is March 6, 2012 for the fetal anatomy ultrasound.

I think we have a sweet baby girl growing in my belly, but Daddy think it's a boy!

You'll hear no complaints from us either way!

Our niece Corinne has predicted that it will be a boy and according to her she is always right! :)

BOY OR GIRL? What's your guess?

P.S. I keep wanting to take growing belly pictures, but I feel silly taking them at this point because I don't have much to show for this pregnancy YET! I'll start taking belly pics as soon as this little baby ripens up a bit!

Dr. Honey Onstad

January 3, 2012

When I found out I was pregnant I had NO idea who to see for OB care - we had only been in Denver for a few months and I didn't know where to start. I remembered that Dr. Rothoff (the MD I worked for in AK) had gone to med school in Denver so I thought it was worth a shot to ask her if she had any connections. She suggested a few classmates who practice in the area. I researched a bit and decided on Dr. Honey Onstad.

I called her office and they squeezed me in for a visit. Like the name implies, she is as sweet as can be! She said, "You are a very patient new mom." I was almost 12 weeks by the time I had my first appointment. Truth be told, I'm not THAT patient. We were waiting for our insurance to kick in and I figured because I had been lucky enough to sit in on a few initial OB appointment as Dr. Rothoff's nurse I had the basics down. Prenatal vitamin - check! Don't smoke - check! Don't drink - working on it! Just kidding about that last one!

Dr. Onstad did an ultrasound and as soon as the picture showed up she said, "Wow, you are definitely pregnant!" Those words and the beautiful image I saw on the screen melted me and I was instantly in tears! I had worried for weeks about, well, everything! It was such a relief to see that sweet baby moving his/her fin-like appendages around and to know I was REALLY pregnant! I don't have any idea what Dr. Onstad said for the remainder of the appointment because all I could think was, "I'm going to be a mom!"

As I walked out to the truck I stared at the ultrasound images and cried. I sent a picture to Brett, who was stuck in class, of baby waving that said, "Hi, Daddy!"

When I got in the truck I called my sister to tell her about the appointment and all I could get out was "I'm really going to be a mom" and the rest was blubber, blubber, blubber. After the crying I couldn't stop smiling and then I would cry again and then smile again - it was a vicious cycle! :)

Later that week I had some more testing done and got to hear baby's heartbeat. I have NEVER heard anything more beautiful! 170 perfect beats per minute! Baby must know when we are checking him/her out because the left hand is always up by the head waving hello! Little poser!!

First Trimester Symptoms

12 Weeks

Baby is the size of a LIME!

Well, no belly to show off yet, but I have had a few other sweet reminders that I'm pregnant.

- Nausea - Day and night

-Vomiting - Luckily for me this has only be an occasional thing. My poor mom had frequent vomiting throughout all of her pregnancies. She must have really loved us to keep wanting more.

-Fatigue - I had mono when I was a teenager and I tell ya - mono has nothin' on pregnancy! Seriously, sometimes the thought of rolling off of the couch is too tiring. It probably doesn't help that I work, what ends up being, 13-14 hour night shifts at the hospital.

Food Aversion - Normally I love my food. I can outeat most males. Since being pregnant I have to force myself to eat. Rarely does anything sound appetizing. I came home from the grocery store with bags full of juice, crackers, and jello. I notified Brett and if he ever wanted to eat again he would need to join me at the grocery store, otherwise I will only bring home the few things that don't make me want to gag.

Super Sniffer - I can smell perfume/cologne from a mile away. This super sense has not been forgiving when it comes to some of my less glamorous nursing duties.

-Frequent urination - I bragged to Brett a few days ago that I only had to get up 3 times the previous night.

Racing thoughts - I can't stop thinking, planning, worrying, dreaming. My mind never turns off, not even at night. Which causes difficultly sleeping and only adds to the fatigue.

-Crying - Like a BIG baby! I cry at movies, songs, commercials, adorable children at the grocery store. My lowest moment was when Brett and I went to Costco and I teared up 6 times before we got out of there. I was grabbing Cordon Bleu from the freezer isle and started crying because our niece, Corinne, in Alaska used to love when we prepared Cordon Bleu for dinner and that made me miss her, etc., etc.

Ah, the joys of pregnancy! Bring it on! It'll all be worth it!

CHRISTMAS

We had planned to spend Christmas in Utah this year, but with me starting a new job we knew it was very likely I would be working Christmas Day. LUCKILY... because the hospital did not want to give holiday pay to a new employee still in training, I was off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Yipee! When my Dad heard this he acted fast and booked a flight for Brett and me to arrive in Utah on December 23rd.

Because I had been so sick with my pregnancy I hadn't bought a thing for Brett. I attempted a shopping trip with my Mom on the 24th, but didn't last long and still came home empty-handed. NO Santa this year! Oops! Worst wife ever award? IN THE BAG! So I guess I didn't come home totally empty-handed. ;)

On Christmas Eve we opened our traditional pajamas. This year was an EXTRA treat! Linds had sent some AMAZING pajamas for us! Brett was Santa and I was his elf! (pictures coming soon)

We Skyped with Brett's family that night and told them our pregnancy news! We had planned on telling them Christmas Day, but we were too excited to wait and since they were all together, we figured there was no better time to share! We had sent presents to our nieces and nephews with a note attached to each that gave a hint about the pregnancy. They all looked a bit puzzled to begin with, then Corinne began yelling "They're going to have a baby!" and jumping around! It was fun to see the kids so excited. COUSINS!! We also sent a calendar to each sibling/parent with pictures of family and on July 21st we marked the baby's due date with a picture of little baby feet.

On Christmas morning we woke up early and went downstairs to open presents and have our traditional breakfast burritos and monkey bread. Afterwards we went to church - what a beautiful way to spend Christmas morning.

That afternoon we were joined by extended family for a fondue dinner, games, and chatting that extended into the early hours of the next morning.

On Monday we went bowling! What a blast! Brett pulled out some hidden bowling talent and "won" with the highest score. I was somewhere near the bottom. Likely because, with this pregnancy, I didn't want to strain myself throwing the ball too quickly...or accurately for that matter. ;)

The next morning we flew home. I had lost my I.D. while shopping on the 24th and by some miracle was still allowed to board the plane. I was secretly hoping they wouldn't let us board because I had to work that night and would have loved an extra day with family - SHOOT!

Christmas decorations around our little apartment:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"This ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet!"

That's right! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!! We could NOT be more excited or feel more blessed.

After the testing from the previous post was over and we had settled in our new apartment, Brett and I decided it was time to think about having a baby. We weren't certain how long it would take for us to get pregnant, so as soon as I had secured a job we knew would provide insurance we thought we'd give it a try!

I have wanted to have a baby since I was a baby myself so when my period was late in November, I tried not to get my hopes up so I wouldn't be too disappointed if I weren't pregnant. I waited until I was 8 days late (which seemed like an eternity) and then took a pregnancy test. I hadn't mentioned anything to Brett yet, I guess because I thought if I recognized the possibility then maybe it wouldn't happen. (I realize that makes no sense. Haha!)

I took the test while he was at school, the day I was to leave to Utah for Thanksgiving. I was a mess waiting for the result. I went into the bathroom after the instructed 2 minutes and there was a VERY faint positive line. I knew that ANY positive line meant it was a positive test, but still refusing to let myself get excited, I decided I would not take that as a "You're Pregnant" and planned to take another test later.

When Brett got home that afternoon I wanted to blurt out the news, but I had already dreamed up in my head how I would tell him on our Anniversary (December 6th).

It was so wonderful being home with family that I only thought about my potential pregnancy every-other-second rather than every second! On Thanksgiving day my sister randomly walked over to me and said, "Are you pregnant?" She knew we had thought about trying and I have NEVER been good at lying so when she asked I said, "I don't know." She said, "What do you mean you don't know? That's not an anwer." I told her the situation and she insisted I go to the gas station and pick up a pregnancy test right then! I found Brett and asked him to go on a little walk with me. I wanted to be sure that Daddy would be the first to know any official pregnancy news. As soon as I told him that there was even a possibility I was pregnant he was SO excited that we hopped in the car and drove to the nearest gas station. The cashier said, "Good luck!" as Brett walked out with pregnancy test in hand!

When we got back to the condos, where we were staying, Brett and I snuck away to an empty condo. The rest of the family was gathered in another. I took the test and we again awaited the everlasting 2 minutes. Then we looked together and this time IT WAS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE! HOORAY!! We were both so happy. (I quoted the line from the movie Juno, which is why it is the heading. ) We laughed and cried and hugged!

A few minutes later Brooke and Luke knocked on the door. They needed something from the condo. I ran over and handed the test to Luke and asked him to show it to his Mommy. He just looked at me like I was a bit crazy and handed it to her. That's when it got crazy! Brooke and I hugged and jumped around yelling "YAY!" She said, "Okay, let's go tell everyone!" I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell everyone quite yet. It was so early - only 6 weeks and I had dreamed for years about the cute way I would announce the news. Well, that all went out the window!

We walked up to the condo where everyone was hanging out and I handed my Mom a note that said "There is one more thing to be GRATEFUL for this year!" She looked at me a bit confused and then Brett handed her the positive pregnancy test! Her eyes immediately filled with tears. Eventually others in the room caught on and the news spread like wild fire among the family.

We were dying to tell Brett's family, but thought it would be a fun Christmas surprise and I was determined to tell them in a better thought-out way than we had told my family. :)

Balm of Gilead

Last year, I also worked on our anniversary and on top that Brett had just had surgery on his leg so we knew our celebration would be limited. We did however, have plans to order take-out the following night (December 7th) and just snuggle up to a movie. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned that day. I was working at ANHC where we saw a wide population of patients. One such population being patients with HIV/AIDS. This hadn't ever worried me - the people were kind and had a variety of backgrounds and I was careful in my practice when it came to blood/body fluids.

A patient came in the afternoon of December 7th. She had just found out she was HIV+. I could see the sadness in her eyes and not knowing her story I was very mindful of here feelings. She needed several injections that day. As I drew them up I thought about what she might be feeling and how life altering such a diagnosis would be. All of the injections went fine, as always, and suddenly after the final injection... I poked myself with the needle. A million things ran through my mind and at the same time it was blank. She noticed what had happened and looked at me, frightened as well. I didn't want her to feel like a monster so I smiled and wished her a happy remainder of the day.

I then turned around, ran into Dr. Rothoff's office and started crying. All I could say was, "I poked myself." Dr. Rothoff was aware of who I had been with and rushed me into the exam room to squeeze out the blood from the puncture and wash my hands thoroughly. She went to grab my manager and while she was gone I knelt in the exam room and prayed.

My blood was drawn immediately for future comparison. Dr. Rothoff called HIV specialists in California and immediately got me started on antiretrovirals. I love Dr. Rothoff for many reasons, but on this day I especially appreciated how calm and reassuring she was about the statistics and outcomes of similar situations.

I called Brett and cried as I told him what I had just done. He cried too. I told him he needed to find a new wife. He told me I was silly and that he loved me and would stay married to me no matter what the outcome. I tried to keep working, but my boss eventually sent me home.

When I got home, I saw Linds first. Her eyes were filled with tears and I collapsed in her arms. I then went down to the couch where Brett had taken up residence since his injury. Haakon was out of town so Brett had been calling other priesthood holders from the ward to see if anyone could join him in giving me a healing blessing. No one was answering their phones. It was about 2pm and many men were at work still. Suddenly, Haakon's friend Rick showed up at the house. He was on a business trip in Alaska and decided to stop by to say hello to the family. We filled him in on the situation and he and Brett gave me a blessing. It seems funny looking back - Brett was still drugged up on pain killers. He had to prop himself against the couch in order to keep balance on one leg. But despite all of the craziness he put his hands upon my head and gave me a beautiful blessing that my body would be able to fight off the infection and that I would be blessed to be a mother one day. I have never felt such an instant calm. I am so grateful for worthy priesthood holders. The promises in my patriarchal blessing came to my mind about how I would live a long, healthy life and that I would joy in seeing my children raised to maturity. Brett and I went into our bedroom and talked and cried until we were too tired to keep our eyes open any longer.

Random memories from the next few days...

I remember Linds had washed the sheets for before I got home from work. You see, I am allergic to cats, but since Brett was basically bedfast in our basement bedroom, I couldn't very well take away the joy he found in snuggling up with his visitor, Wicket, the Johnson family cat, so there was cat hair everywhere. It was so nice to climb into clean sheets.

I also remember being grateful that Haakon and Linds had spent time in Africa around many people with HIV/AIDS, because of this they were aware of how it is spread and weren't freaked out about me eating at their table or snuggling their kids.

The antiretrovirals make you feel like you have the flu all the time. I was really grateful that I was still able to work. It kept my mind busy. It also forced me to face my newfound fear of injections. I knew if I didn't jump right back in - I may never be able to. I found that I was much more empathetic to my patients and their conditions.

I remember Christmas morning and despite feeling icky, being so excited to wake up to watch the kids open their presents. It was worth it. I sure miss those kiddos.

One night I was staring at the bottle of Truvada and noticed the word "Gilead" on it. I again felt very strongly that everything was going to be okay. I remember years ago singing the song "Did You Think To Pray" in Sacrament meeting and looking up the meaning of Balm of Gilead

--An aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds (Gen. 43:11; Jer. 8:22; 46:11; 51:8). A bush producing the resin from which the balm was made grew so plentifully in Gilead in Old Testament times that the balm came to be known as the “balm of Gilead” (Gen. 37:25; Ezek. 27:1.)

"Did You Think To Pray" - 3rd Verse

When sore trials came upon you, Did you think to pray?

When your soul was full of sorrow, Balm of Gilead did

you borrow, at the gates today?

...so when life gets dark and dreary, don't forget to pray.

I was tested for HIV at 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 4 months, and 6 months after the exposure and all of the tests came back negative! Hooray! Almost as a strange reminder, I was working at the hospital this past week on December 7th, and had an HIV+ patient who needed an injection. Everything went well! :)